so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
