Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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