My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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