Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
