well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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