so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
