your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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