How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
