On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
