go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
