Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
