Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
