i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
