I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
