White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How does one acquire holy water?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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