I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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