member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
