I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
