OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
