bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
