Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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