I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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