I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
