I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
