Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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