sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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