Your face is a jimmy john
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
