The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
