hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
