It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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