New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
