i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
