why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
