its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
