He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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