don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
