After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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