I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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