I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize