I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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