Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
