no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Semen is not good for contacts.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
