After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
