It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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