My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
