im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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