He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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