The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
