...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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