she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
